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My last bridesmaid is a bit of surprise-- the rest of my wedding party hasn't even met her yet -- but we becamefriends when collaborating on some songs for my second album. I wasreluctant to ask her to be a part of this since, she's such a big nameand has so many famous friends -- friends way more famous than even I'dbecome -- but she turned out to be happy to do it. It's funny to thinkback to those early days when I became Alana how much time I spent hatingon her music. Well, she never, ever, ever, had to know about that.I wish I could tell you that everything for my wedding was going exactlyhow I imagined it, or at least how I'd begun to imagine it since Istarted living life as Alana, but there was one big piece missing.About a month after I moved to New York, Monica and I got into a hugefight. She finally blew up at me about the Bryce thing in a way that I'dbeen bracing for since my first day as Alana, when I found out the truthabout Ali and Bryce. Things were thrown, windows were. Elise glared at her underling and he wilted, then pointed deflected blame at the computer screen. Elise stalked toward the front desk and Chester and his fellow desk clerk, Molly, backed away.Elise turned Chester’s screen toward her, intent on finding his mistake and then writing him up for it.The reservation was there. James Green. 21st floor penthouse.“This is absurd!” Elise declared, finally losing her cool and glaring up hostilely at the would-be guests. “You hacked our computers? This isn’t a joke, young man! It’s a crime!”“Of course it isn’t a joke!” the young man exclaimed. “We know jokes! YumYum, tell that joke you know!”The busty woman grinned ridiculously.“Oh! Yes! How many flies take screw in lightbulb?” she asked earnestly.Elise gave her most withering glare. The prostitute pressed on, undaunted.“Give up? Answer is two! Two flies screw in lightbulb!”Then the woman called YumYum peeled with laughter at her own joke, sending tremors through her fake bosom, as her companion.
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